Farfetched
by Svendances
Summary: Ranger has a confession to make that will change his and Stephanie's life forever. Not to mention the Merry Men. Completely OoC. One-Shot. Babe. Morelli friendly. Is there anything I missed?


_I have no idea what happened to my head when I conceived this idea, but it is absolutely farfetched as far as I'm concerned, so that's what it's called. There's really nothing else to say for it._

**Farfetched**

"Babe," he said, his eyes serious for the first time in over an hour, catching my attention and killing the laughter that had been burbling from my lips. I looked at him, apprehensively. "I have something I need to tell you," he continued. Alarm bells began to sound in my brain. "And it will probably affect our entire relationship."

I gulped. "What is it?"

He took my face in his hands and kissed me lightly before pulling back and staring his big, dark eyes into my own blue ones. "I'm pregnant."

The half empty glass of creaming soda I had been holding clattered to the ground, spilling it's contents over the carpet as my fingers went slack and my jaw followed suit. "Pregnant?" I asked, scared out of my head. "How could this have happened? We always use protection!"

"Except that one time," he reminded me. "We ran out, remember?"

"That was just one time though," I said, pushing myself into an upright position and beginning to pace across my living room. "Sure it doesn't count."

"It only takes one time, Babe. You know that."

I sighed heavily and raked my hands through my hair. "I know. I just.... I can't believe you're pregnant."

"Neither can I, Babe," he assured me, catching my arm as I made another pass and dragging me into his lap.

"What are we going to do?" I wailed, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I'm not ready for this. I'm not even sure I want kids."

"_You're_ not ready for this?!" he exclaimed, dumping me on the couch abruptly and taking up the same path I had just been pacing. "I'm the one who's going to get fat. I'm the one who has to go thru the pain and suffering!"

"I know. I'm sorry. That was a really selfish thing for me to say." He sat down beside me again and gathered me in his arms, simply holding me for a long moment. When he let me go I stared at the blank television screen for a moment, at a loss as to what should happen next. "You're sure you're pregnant?" I asked abruptly, turning to face him. He nodded and I nodded too. There was only one thing for it then. I got down on one knee before him and dug the ring out of my pocket. "Ricardo Carlos Manoso, will you marry me?" I asked, holding the ring out to him.

At that moment there was a cough from the doorway and we both turned to see Tank, Bobby and Lester all standing there with confused, shocked expressions on their faces.

"How long have you been standing there?" Ranger demanded.

Lester was the one to answer. "Long enough to be completely weirded out by your conversation," he stated, looking from me to Ranger and back again.

"It's been a long time since medical school," Bobby commented. "But I'm pretty sure things haven't changed enough that the men are now the ones with the ovaries."

"And since when do you let the woman do the proposing?" Tank asked.

Ranger shrugged and took the ring from my hand, slipping onto his finger and giving me a hearty kiss.

"Whoah!" all three men cried as Ranger wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap once more.

"That has to be the biggest diamond I've ever seen!" Tank commented. "How on earth can you afford that Bombshell?"

I broke the kiss and leaned my forehead against Ranger's, breathing heavily. "We'll answer questions later," I panted. "Right now, I want to spend some _alone time_ with my fiancé."

All three sets of eyes widened and they quickly left the room, closing the door firmly behind them. I could barely contain my laughter as Ranger brought the ring to his mouth and gave it a big lick. "Mmm," he murmured. "How did you know lemonade was my favourite flavour?"

I pulled out the second lolly ring from my pocket and stuck it on my own finger, licking it appreciatively and savouring it's grape flavour. "I didn't," I confessed. "I just grabbed two at random." We both started laughing, pausing now and then to suck and lick our rings. "I think your men are going to need psychiatric help," I informed Ranger when I had calmed myself down. "Did you know they were standing there?"

He nodded, his ring still in his mouth. "They were standing there when I told you I was pregnant."

"Why did you tell me you were pregnant?"

He thought for a moment and then simply said, "Payback."

Before I could ask what the payback was for he had me pinned to the couch and was devouring my mouth with his own. All thoughts left my head when the slight taste of his lemonade candy mingled with my grape one as his tongue met mine. I guess I didn't really need to know anyway


End file.
